What Is Trauma—Really? (And Why It Might Not Look How You Think)
Most people think trauma is about the event.
The car accident. The abuse. The loss. The “big thing.”
But trauma isn’t just what happened. It’s what happened inside you as a result. It’s what your body had to do to keep you safe when something felt too overwhelming, too fast, or too much to process.
Trauma isn’t the story.
It’s the response.
And sometimes that response doesn’t come from one big, obvious event—it comes from a thousand small moments where your system quietly learned:
“It’s not safe to speak up.”
“My needs are too much.”
“Love has to be earned.”
Trauma Lives in the Body, Not Just the Memory
You may not even remember the moment your body shifted.
But you can feel it:
You brace when someone raises their voice.
You shut down when things get hard.
You overfunction, overgive, or disappear—because your system learned that’s how you stay safe.
These are not personality flaws.
They’re adaptations.
And they’re intelligent.
“But Nothing That Bad Happened…”
I hear this all the time from clients. They’ll describe emotionally unavailable parents, years of chronic stress, or an unspoken family rule to never show emotion—and then say:
“But I had a good childhood.”
“Other people had it worse.”
“I shouldn’t feel this way.”
But trauma isn’t about comparison. It’s about capacity.
It’s what happens when your system gets overwhelmed without enough support, space, or safety.
So even if no one hit you…
Even if nothing dramatic happened…
You might still be carrying trauma.
What Trauma Looks Like (That You Might Not Recognize)
Feeling anxious, frozen, or numb—even in situations that “should” feel fine
Overthinking, over-giving, or being unable to rest
Struggling to trust, open up, or stay emotionally present in relationships
Feeling like you're too much or not enough—no matter what you do
A quiet sense that you're never really safe
You’re not crazy. You’re not weak. You’re not broken. You’re protected.
But that protection may be costing you more than it’s saving you now.
What Healing Looks Like
Trauma healing isn’t about reliving the worst moments of your life. It’s about helping your system understand that you’re safe now. That starts with:
Building safety in your nervous system
Developing trust with the parts of you that went into hiding
Creating a therapeutic space where you don’t have to perform or explain yourself
In my practice, I use a science-backed framework called the Autonomic Ladder to help clients understand their nervous system responses in a compassionate, simple way. We go at your pace. We start wherever you are. And we build toward real, embodied safety—not just insight. Because when your body feels safe, everything begins to change.
You Don’t Have to Keep Carrying It Alone
If something in this resonates—if you’ve always felt like you’re “too much,”
or you’ve never quite been able to relax…
This may be the trauma no one ever named.
And now, you get to name it.
You get to work with it.
You get to heal.
Learn more about trauma therapy or contact us to see how we can help.